The Object of My Child's Affection

Every parent has been there; you are on your way out, but your little one is making you late searching for his favorite teddy. Or your 7 month old will not stop crying in her bed because her binkie is no where to be found. As a parent you know how debilitating a comfort item can be. However, to your children the need for his favorite teddy is what feels constricting. Really, comfort items are just what they sound like, and are a healthy and significant part of being a kid.

By the time children reach the age of 1, they have already found a security object that they need within reach at all times. For children younger than one, the child's thumb or even a pacifier will often work quite well to settle and comfort them in their time of need. As your little one grows to toddler age, they'll often look for something that is more physically reassuring such as a favorite teddy or blanket. Many people that the soft texture of these toys is responsible for the soothing effect they have on children. Toddlers will usually caress a teddy bear or rub a blanket on their arm or face for comfort.

Another security feature a child may discover with a soft comfort object is the way it reminds them of you as their parent. The material of a blankie rubbed on your child's face could remind them of your skin while you hug or cradle them. Or possibly the stuffed animal was always a part of the naptime or sleep schedule you and your child have established. Once again, the connection with you giving comfort to your toddler or making him feel shielded is what causes the strong connection to these comfort items. Once in a while a young child makes security objects out of unusual things. Anything from a pair of socks to a hard block. Even though this bond is not always evident, there is most likely some emotional attachment the child has made to receive security and comfort from the item.

However annoying it may be for you to handle your child's continuous need for their blanket or teddy, it is essential to remember that this period is both significant and healthy. The world may be scary to a child, especially as they advance to their first birthday. It is during this time that a child will start to suffer from separation anxiety since they are more likely to find themselves separated from you through playschool, child care, or even on their own as they are exploring the world around them. With a comfort item, your child is learning to soothe himself when you aren't necessarily available and as they widen their independence. Think about it as a temporary brace to lift them through this development in their lives.

It isn't until your child turns 3 or 4 that he or she will begin to regulate their feelings and emotions and no longer rely on a comfort object for soothing and security, according to a child-development professional, Jane Kostelc. Around this age carrying around a tattered blankie is less socially accepted by their peers. Who knew our children had peer pressure issues so young? At any rate, it's perhaps better for parents to observe this stage as the milepost that it is. When you do so you will only promote their emotional developement. something that is certainly worthy of short term frustration.